Sadly, in current times, when you visit a funeral buffet, most presentations are from the deli department of the local groceries! Our lives are so busy with two income families, we seldom have time to bring the classic favorite recipes to lovingly offer to the guests at any social gathering. I recently assisted at one such buffets, for a friend from church. The dessert table was full of tasty, but store bought sweets, except for one huge 13"x9" double layered scratch cake frosted with old fashioned butter cream and colorful sprinkles! What a labor of love! The children were enthralled by this unpolished, misshaped, sliding to one side wonder! Midway through the luncheon, I found a twelve year old boy boldly cutting a 3"x5" piece. I had to try it! Oh, the goodness! Tasting the unique texture took me back to my Aunt Dorothy's Crazy Cake.
Aunt Dorothy was my mother's only brother's wife. Uncle Bob died when I was 6, so I never really knew him. Some sister-in-laws of a deceased spouse slip away forever, but not Aunt Dorothy. She came once or twice a year; not a frequent guest to the home, but her visits were historical! Aunt Dorothy arrived with a banquet of homemade delights! Parading into the house came her baked ham, crisscrossed with the pineapple rings and cherries enough to put Martha Stewart to shame! Side dishes followed; deviled eggs with paprika sprinkled perfectly, classic potato salad topped with sliced eggs & black olives & dusted by paprika, baked beans endowed with bacon slices, triple layered raspberry torte or the "Crazy Cake". Chocolate Crazy Cake was made with vinegar and without eggs. Moist and delicious, it was topped with real butter cream frosting. But that was not all! Now came the bags from the grocery! Sacks and sacks of household basics from toilet paper to dish washing soap, fruit, condiments like sweet pickles and olives (which mom seldom bought), dips and dairy would bless our kitchen! And the finally the two dogs, chubby indulged miniature poodles, would bound into the house, while Aunt Dorothy coached them into order with a treat of chocolate covered mints! (She insisted, "The dogs love them. It's the only treat they will eat.") With her purse would come the box of See's Chocolates, of which everybody could select one, giving all a fair chance at choosing their favorite! A second round of the box followed. Then she would settle down to smoke a cigarette. Her smoking was the marvel. No special tricks, but just watching Aunt Dorothy smoke while we adored her was memorable. She came with such a lavish display of affection in her arrival to the home, you felt her love and my childish response was adulation expressed in happy wide eyed stares. She limited physical affections to kisses on the cheek. But you knew you were valued and cherished by her regardless! Her presence was not loud or overbearing, but quietly big.
Aunt Dorothy would speak of family being family, no matter what happened. When she married Bob, his family became her family. She came to important occasions, like weddings, and large anniversary celebrations. Aunt Dorothy had one daughter, Cathy, who was the recipient of the largest doses of motherly affection ever given. She was a down to earth princess, in my eyes. As a child, I never processed the affect of the loss of her father. She had a sadness I didn't understand. Perhaps Aunt Dorothy did too. But she choose to give love, even in her pain. It seems like on the birthday when my oldest sister got her first car, Aunt Dorothy was there. I recall her crying and mourning her husband. "Bob loved surprises," I remember her whispering in tears. Her moments of joy were coupled with mourning, missing the man she had intended to share all the high points of her life.
Aunt Dorothy chose to love. It was a decision in which she passionately engaged through her unique ways. Aunt Dorothy is a hero in my life. I aspire to follow her example. If I have it in my power to lavish demonstrations of outlandish love, I will. Whether it is understood at present doesn't matter. Time reveals truth.
Back to the funeral...I couldn't help but retell the accounts of my Aunt Dorothy's visits to a fellow funeral attendee! Good feelings should be shared, just as the cake we were eating! Upon finishing the tale I apologized for babbling on sentimentally. My lovely new friend thanked me for the story. Truly moved, she told me about her nephew in southern California, whom she wanted to go see for quite some time. She had been pondering and praying about how to express her love to this young man and his growing family. She felt after hearing my story, she knew what she was going to do. My great Aunt Dorothy inspired her to action!
I salute you, Aunt Dorothy, in heaven! Thank you for loving as it is truly the only way to live! You are with me in my heart.
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