Just Apologize, and They'll Let You Back In!

My 12 year old daughter loves her social life!  Her cross country coach boasts she could run a marathon if she had someone to talk to while running!  She comes in with impulsive plans for "hanging out" with friends.  We manage these excursions by stipulating we must have detailed plans for any outings.  This detoured her for awhile.  But now she has learned to plan!  And the plans are way ahead of time!  Homework and chores are conditional to plans being expedited.  Each obstacle placed for her, to slow down the ever charging preteen, have turned into lessons she champions! 

 

Our daughter went to the Skate n Dance on Saturday night here in Redding.  I don’t let her go as a rule for numerous reasons.  I know she could be exposed to "unknown evils"  in the shadows, but the Holy Spirit moved me past my brain, and showed me to let her go.  I set something new in motion.  I talked and discussed the dangers, equipping her with answers for various scenarios.  Now I had to trust her, and the God who is bigger than all circumstances.  I had peace.  I even met a new mom who thanked me for driving the kids to the party.  All was good!

When I picked up my daughter, she was full of caffeine and stories.  She talked about the cops (security guard) who kicked a girl out for mouthing off to the owners.  My daughter went out and talked to the girl.  She said, “Mom, I told her, ‘Dude, you just gotta go in and tell them you’re sorry.  They will let you back in!  They just want some respect.  It is their business, and their rules.  If you just go in, and show some respect, say you're sorry with respect, you can get back in.’ She wouldn’t do it, Mom.   She just stood outside alone, until 11:00 when her mom came to pick her up.  She should’ve just humbled herself and apologized.”  She rambled on about her dancing and purchases, exhausted, but happy.

My daughter’s story touched my heart.  In all my warnings, I never touched the scene she encountered. Somewhere within our boundary setting, she discerned a valuable lesson.   Respect, honor, validation in humility would go along way to repairing a breach in relationship.  If you take responsibility, get out of denial, stop the self-justifying, rambling manipulations, you can find a place of reconciliation.  We all want respect.  If you are the first to give it, and the first to admit when you've violated someone, you'll always have friends and fun.  Just apologize, and they'll let you back in.

I'm praying for my daughter and myself, that we'll always be "in".

No Disloyalty

My darling step grandson, child of divorce, becomes so conflicted.  He loves his mom; he loves his dad.  He wants to be with them both.  He doesn't want to miss out on the happenings in either family!  Both are wonderful to him!  The conflict of family loyalty, at times, frustrates him to the point of tears.

Crazy me! I can relate! You see, I love Redding, CA!  For 5 years my home in this city of refuge has been precious to me.  I love the friends and new family God has given me here!  I am so grateful for the new identity God gave me in this town!  I have these loving passions for my home here...so why is it I get this endorphin rush when I see pictures of the Midwest or watch a home cooking sow on TV, or see leaves turn in fall on the maples man planted by Caldwell Park?    I, too, am conflicted for I love both places!


 So when I am here--I release my Midwest family & persona to the Lord's care.  And when I'm there, I know God is maintaining my Redding home and relationships.

There is no disloyalty.  Only gratitude for whatever place the Lord has me at the moment.  I have comfort and trust all my loved ones know they are valued.  My loyalty is to the Lord, to thankfully praise Him where ever He leads us.  I think my children understand.

I am excitedly awaiting for this Christmas!  We get to go back to Missouri for a Midwest Holiday Season!  I will sing carols with my grand kids by candlelight!  Corny, yes!  Homespun, yes!  Homemade gifts, yes!!!  We will over eat, watch football, and laugh!  We will go to see the Plaza Lights!  We will drive around neighborhoods to see the displays!  Yes, it will be grand!  We will celebrate each other and our time together, totally loyal. 

Social Network Adventure

I joined a social network last March, to expand my sphere of influence.  Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!  I found the most remarkable group of women who intentional give of their time and resources to serve the community!  I delightedly say I fell under their influence! A quilter's group was on the activities rooster.  Having always desired the skill, I joined. This lovely group of ladies meet once a month to share their latest projects and work on a group quilt to raffle for charity.  They proudly show their finished and "work in progress" items.  Validating, encouraging and celebrating each other flavors this time with loving friendship! This time of teaching, sharing, serving is divine!  I watched, asked questions, helped, submitting to instruction for 6 month.  Finally I felt confident to attempt my own personal "quilt block".  At the September meeting I shared my first project sheepishly.  The positive feedback watered this new spout!  After refreshment time, I headed out the door to find another group of cheerful women celebrating the US Constitution Week, emphasizing the second amendment, our right to bear arms.  As I stood their enjoying the Constitution quizzes they offered, the quilt group co-chair wrapped her arm around me from behind, yet again, touching me with words of encouragement.  She noted my shyness and recited a story from her treasury of experience.

"Years ago, as a beginner, I took a class from a famous published quilter.  She check our work individually after our session, praising us all.  When she praised my work, I began to show her my mistakes.  She snatched my quilt block and took five steps away.  She asked me, 'Where were those mistakes?'  When I began walking up to point them out, she halted me with outstretched hand.  'From there, where are the mistakes?'  I couldn't see them!  She exhorted me, 'Anytime somebody starts putting their nose on your work, to point out those little angles that are off, just a bit, you tell them to BACK OFF!  JUST BACK OFF!"

I reflected on her story and the coincidence of the "right to bear arms" women with their message.  When trials of life, insecurities, or fears come, to rob us in "the pursuit of happiness" we have a right to bear up saying, "No, not today, not now! I won't except those negative feelings!  I won't give up my hope!"  As I look at the example, of these great women of Redding, CA, who purpose to continuing giving their entire life, I realize it is more than a right.  It is a responsibility.

Hello World!

Today I begin my journey to become an author!  Even as I type this silly sentence, I realize I have been writing a story my whole life, though more of an oral tradition, etched on the memories of my family.  Insignificance shouting at me to stop, I will rebuff!  Onward in hope, to fulfill a dream, I will determinedly press! 

In September 1976, I enrolled two weeks late for my senior year in the 13th school of my educational experience.  All class appropriate electives were filled, leaving me to Homemaking I and Drama I.  Walking into the drama room 10 minutes late, I had a "devil-may-care" attitude.  I had nothing to loose.  Never staying in one place long enough to develop lasting relationships or continuum in academia, there was no expectations or reputation to fret over.  This was my last gig.  I determined  to throw myself into the moment!  The assignment was 2 minute skits.  I pulled reckless courage out and took the class on a ride!  I owned their attention, for this unpredictable stranger was taking them to a place they were eager to go.  They didn't know me as the insecure fearful newbie.  I had left her at the door!  This was the new Lucinda, who was going to take a risk!  One moment, one choice, lead me to a new place!

On that unparticular fall morning, another person made a life changing decision.   As she watched the mirror of herself on stage, discerning the gold within, the first year speech and drama teacher purposed to mentor a transfer student. Her example became a benchmark in my life.  Ripples of her choice are touching you now. 

 Some lessons become corner posts used to survey your personal development.  As speech coach, she exhorted her team members, "Always position yourselves in a place to grow!  Never become satisfied with your accomplishments!  When you have grown as far as you can, perfecting your performance to flawlessness, seek for the next level of growth.  Look for the next challenge!  Never work just for money.  Live to grow!"

Opening this blogger site, is much like that first day in Drama I class my senior year.  It is a new place: no one has seen me before on this stage!  And I have plenty of room to grow!  It is the next challenge.  I hope you enjoy the journey with me!  

Lightning Lucy